BEWARE THE STORM -- by Al

Hey Folks,

If I haven't had this conversation with you this week, think very carefully about what I'm about to write. Liza and Lydia both posted a bit about their crews coming together. All of your crews are creating healthy communities -- they've all formed well. But be on the look out for some soon-to-follow rough patches.
There is an old theory of team work that crews at the Guild have proven over and over again: 1)Forming 2)Storming 3)Norming 4)Performing. (for a detailed description click here) The forming phase (which all of you have well underway) is a bit of a honeymoon. New team, new leader, new friendships, new ideas about how school can go. Especially with such charasmatic and wonderful leaders like you all, it's all fun.

The second phase usually takes people by, well, storm. Suddenly something happens in the crew and you've got a kind of group-crisis. The folks at MindTools describe the phase this way:

Soon, reality sets in and your team moves into a "Storming" phase. Your authority may be challenged as others jockey for position as their roles are clarified. The ways of working start to be defined, and as leader you must be aware that some members may feel overwhelmed by how much there is to do, or uncomfortable with the approach being used.

Amanda, you've seen some of this already with Precious and the way the crew is reacting to her. Lydia, you've seen some of this in the way the group of girls that we talked about acts during IWT. Know that these are necessary happenings that will challenge your leadership. Be aware of them. You need to be careful how you react to this storming. Addressing these storms can flow naturally right out of your personality, or your idea of what the job should be. While I wouldn't want to stop that kind of reaction, I am advising each of you to consider and reflect on how you handle these issues. Handled well, these storms could create the norming an performing stages that help your kids become super successful. Mishandling could take lots of your time to set aright.

As always, I urge you to talk to me or Jeff or Juan or Dana or Shanita about how to deal with the storms that arise. We can help you look at alternatives and strategies for the best outcomes.

Keep it up, y'all. Things are moving along exceptionally well. You're all doing awesome!

Peace,
Al

TGIF

This week flew by. I'm not sure why that is the case, but all of a sudden it's Friday and I totally wasn't expecting it. Not complaining though. This week I have had my best and worst moments with my crew thus far. Yesterday three of my kids got lost trying to meet up with the crew. I was so nervous that I yelled at them when they got back (something I always HATED when my mother did to me-getting mad at something you have no control over). It wasn't there fault they got lost - but my anxiety got the best of me. They accepted my apology but I need to watch it... that's not cool. My best moment this week was two-fold; there was the selfishness of wanting to be liked (my student wrote in her journal that she really likes me) but she was writing about me because wqas going through a tough time last week and when she finally opened up to me, I was able to empathize because I had been through a similar situation. I was really excited that my negative experience was turned into a positive thing by sharing it with her.
I'm looking forward to next week and not just because we have two days off, but we are going to PS 1 on Friday and I think my kids are really going to enjoy it.

Week 2.......

So, I have to post a reflection for CCNY....and I am doing them back to back - although they are different...this is where my mind is now. This week was interesting.....I guess I am nervous that now that my kids have gelled - that they will implode....everyone talks about it - and its making me a little weary. So I believe my kids are a community.....they seem to genuinely like one another and no one is really getting on any one's nerves...yet. I am working with them on the BG Learning Plan system which is a lot of work. Tomorrow I am going to try and go through each student's entry (although not all of them have done entries). Two of my kids have internships - three others have had shadow days - that may or may not lead to something - and 4 more have shadow days scheduled. I would say that 6 have had difficulty getting shadow days - not for lack of interest necessarily (although there are those as well), more that they are having a hard time connecting their interest with a tangible position (Forensic science? Wild animals?). Then, of course I have kids that are just hard to place. One - my infamous student from Bangladesh (the stories are really endless here), I am uncomfortable shipping him out on his own - I feel the need to accompany him - and my student with an IEP - to a shadow day. That is almost impossible right now - unless I do something after school - which is even harder. The Bengali boy - is very eager - maybe too eager for his own good - so he is pushing and I am pulling back.

The other challenge I face is that several of my student's parents really struggle with the BG curriculum and there is some hand holding required before the first exhibition. As someone who gave out their contact information liberally - I find that some parents need to regularly communicate - and even on this topic. So that adds another element to the already large and sometimes unwieldy workload......

On a positive note - I took the kids to two museums this week on my "internship days." The MET on Tuesday and PS1 today. I let them get lost and explore on their own. It creates some time complications (although they seemed to be catching onto the concept) - but it takes the pressure off of how to enjoy art. I am looking forward to reading their journal entries on the subject. Plus - its a good way for me to chill out and reconnect....

That's it for this week.....

First off, my bad for not doing this on time. It was typed up ready to go on Friday but within the 20 minutes it took for me to leave school, where I wrote this, and get home, where the internet was working, every task I had planned for myself mysteriously vanished from my memory.

At any rate, I believe that I fit in the "moderate competence to variable commitment" category. While I do realize that this is only my first year (week!) as a real teacher and that I have much to learn, I do think I have a general idea of what it means to truly be an educator and what characterisitcs are desirable in a teacher. I think so far I am doing a decent job of trying to live up to those expectations. I know there is TONS that I don't know yet. But I am comfortable with my current state and confident that the skills I need to work on will develop as the year progresses.

My commitment is also in the middle of the spectrum. There are crew leaders (ahem..) who stay at school to plan until after 8:00 PM after a full day with their kids. I praise you, I respect you, but I could never, ever do it. I'd lose my mind. By the end of the day I'm mentally and physically tired. I am hoping that I figure out how to sustain my energy for longer periods of time. I am 110 percent (sorry the actual percent sign apparently does not work on this keyboard...) committed to my kids, knowing that unless I take care of myself I am doing them an injustice by not being myself.

I need support, guidance, and encouragement. A lot of times I am completely lost; I've lost the deer in headlights look but trust me, the feelings behind it are still there. What is a project proposal supposed to look like? What if my kids can't get shadow days? Why did I ever think I could seriously teach math? I can work well under pressure, but like most people, I work best in an environment where I feel safe (which I do here, for the most part) so Al, keep doing what you are doing, and I promise that I will be on time with this blog from now on!

How NOT to burn out while building a cathedral -- by Al

Hey y'all,

Reading back through your spectacular posts, I thing that I've got to help you all find "the balance" in the job. Yeah, it's early and yeah, it's hard. I STRONGLY believe that half the battle is understanding what is expected -- in a manageable way. Know what you are building. Yeah, that's right, think of yourself as a builder. Yeah, a builder -- you're making a cathedral. It's huge, it's daunting, it's difficult. But the only way to build a cathedral is one brick at a time.

One Brick.

At a time.

Try this, forget about the cathedral. You are making a wall. Just a wall. Choose a brick. Look at where it fits in the wall you are trying to build. Study it, learn what you need to about it. How does it fit in the space that is allocated for it? Where will you need to put the most mortar? How are you going to keep it level?

Put it in the wall.

Step back and look at how it fits.

Is it working in that space? Does it need more mortar? More support? Does it need to be built up on one side, or lowered on another? How's the fit? Is it time to move onto the next brick?

You've started building your cathedral. You're somewhere on the first row of the foundation walls. Your walls are are community and internships. With a little luck, you've started projects. Your bricks are initiatives, trips, cold calls, the BG Internship Request system, interest inventory work, the WHO AM I project, etc. Keep your focus on the bricks that make up those walls. Don't look at anything else, yet. Make sure you're building those walls correctly and you're making them strong.

Yeah, you may be asked to look at other walls. Math walls and Regents walls. Attendance walls and Credit walls. Assessment walls and Living Environment walls. Glance at them if you must. Know that you will need to build those walls sometime in the future. But keep building community, internships and projects. It is that triad of walls that will be the foundation of your cathedral.

Yeah, the Guild builds funny looking buildings.

Keep on, y'all. You are each and all doing SPECTACULAR work.

See you on the morrow.

Peace,
Al

From Brian

I picked the third one – moderate to high because ti don’t like to put myself in the highest category
and there are some things, such as directing students towards internships, where there is room for improvement.

As for commitment, it usually is pretty high, but there are only so many hours in the day and I’m not a monk. I am also highly committed to my family and that takes a lot of time.

As for how I want to interact with you – help with the internship placement first, support for the things I’m trying to institute in the class and a realization that we have been given too much to do in these first few weeks, that the job is draining, etc. Also, I’d like some common planning time. Right now I am
exhausted at the end of each day because I am responsible for covering my class from 8:30 to 1:10 and then 2 to 3. It is not a good way for anyone to start the year and while I’ll survive, there are things I am not doing – having time to talk to other crew members, learning specialists, Lorin, etc. on the needs of individual students, or even getting to know students individually. As for the new teachers, I think it is a bad way of introducing them to this (or any) system. It is begging for burn out.

Continuing on, there are things I would like delegated to me, providing there is time to do them.
Specifically, we don’t do well on content knowledge on the Global and US Regents (check out the
percentages on the multiple choice- only a third to half get over 40% on a test where you should get 25% by guessing randomly) and I could both familiarize the other crew leaders with the subject matter
and provide materials beyond mere Regents review.

Finally, I don’t know where this fits in, but I want to finish my Math certification this year and if you have any ideas whereby I could help the school and earn some math credits, tell me. I’m contacting someone at Hostos about it, but I’d like to get free credits if possible.

What I do every couple or weeks is go
through my crew list and write down a few things about half the crew.
I do this more after things have settled down.'

Right now these are first impressions and I'm not quite sure
how accurate these are.

Crew:

Shardasha --
Tall, elegant and seemingly professional at age 14.
She has been quiet, but has some things
to say. Organized.
Seems to be developing a friendship with Sintroya.

Aaliyah --
Assertive, talks a bit more than I'd like.
Concerned about class procedures,
but definitely sees the rest of the crew
as people to develop relationships with.
Leadership potential. Smart and likes
to have her opinion heard.

Malik --
Small, quiet, shy boy. Has missed some days.
Not quite sure how much he gets what is going on.
Waiting for physical development?

Justin ---
Slow walker -- always trailing behind on trips.
Large and carries a bit more weight than he should.
Definitely awkward age
Aaliyah has taken to calling him 'Curly.'
Often late.

Samantha --
Smart, organized, but has been suffering from
stomach virus this week. Willing to talk in class.

Edelys --
Quiet. Follows procedures and is afraid of
negative attention. Seems to have a friendship
with Andrienne.

Kimberly --
Very quiet Part French.

Brian Jones --
Same name as the founder of the Rolling Stones,
who was later murdered by the grounds keeper of his estate.
Brian asked me why we didn't change classes.
He seems to have been looking forward to what
he considered regular high school.

Vanae --
Not exactly excluded, but on the edge of things
socially in the crew.
Seems to be a bit on the cynical side.

Aaron --
Older, has a girlfriend in Daniel's crew.
Has not been in many days.

Denise --
Had 3 older siblings at the school.
Started the year with PDAs with Armando,
but that seems to be over.
(Armando seems confused as to way, but not upset.)
Talks a lot, will say negative things about me.
Think she is testing me.
High energy, a bit volatile. Funny.
Kadejah suggested Friday that she was ADD.
Took her to Juan at her request.

Kadejah --
Some one from her former school is apparently out
to get her, so after school she worries.
Well organized. Spends time with Aaliyah,
others.

Sashalee --
Very quiet, but articulate when you address her directly.

John Carlos --
No show as of present.

Emerald --
Quiet, respectful. Needs special help and seeks it out.

Andrienne --
Doesn't seem too happy -- the look on her face seems to
say, "Why would I ever want to do that?' Leaves a lot
of assignments incomplete. Friends with Edelys

Ashley --
Still in middle school in her own mind.
Well, organized. Have complimented her on her hat.
Good sense of humor.

Armando--
From Salvador, mother speaks only Spanish.
Won't create problems, but not exactly a go getter.
Still sits next to Denise even though they
are not longer going out.

Sintroya --
Smart, likes to answer questions in class.
Tall and likes fashion and dance.
Friends with Shardasha -- together they
are the two tallest in class.


Okay, that is in for now.
My method for this is to pull up this message
next time and add to it.
Over time it is more event oriented than
personality oriented.

Brian

....big sigh.....deep breath....

so today i left school at 830PM. i decided it would be better to stay, blast Pandora and get my lesson plans together for tomorrow, than to go home, crash, wake up at 4:15 AM and rush to make sense of Friday's schedule before Eric Nunez pokes his head in my door at 8:05 AM. i feel like i made some decent progress but i was exhausetd by the time i made it to the bus stop and realized... thats it... im high committment and low competence
for real
i thought about how much i will give to these kids and have been giving since before day one. i love em so much already ( thought i want to smack a few of them across the lip somtimes - jk ).
my kids were my life today.
hopefully ill get some balance soon.
thats where the competence comes in.
yeah... i know i dont have all the training and experience necessary to leave by 4 with no worries
i kno i dont have the care free attitude to just flow with it either
i just know how to ask questions
hopefully i have been asking good ones, ones that will help me be a better crew leader/member
al- i think i need direction and support as per my box thingy
so far you have been great support in being open and available for all my questions which has made gray moments crystal clear.
i think i need a little but more direction because sometimes i feel i have been getting them a bit mixed up or just kinda late in the game. like when your on the highway and see the sign you have been looking for but then miss the exit.
yeah...
these last two weeks have been a whirl wind and i feel like im doing and okay to good job with my crew but its taking sooo much energy. what direction can we look forward to to try to make plannning a bit less dauting and exhausting when everything has to be so individualize not just by student but by crew (guess that seems a bit default right?). big sigh.... deep breath... and i dont think i am a perfectionist or a worry wart.... i just like to do things right.....and do them well.... with my best efforts...
but before i sign of and try my best effort in getting a good night sleep....
i know this is not ABC news time but...
i thank al for helping me and my crew out with the essential questions thing
i thank liza for holding on to my baby girl Shannara who came in late today
i thank sarah and shanita and my wife lydz for decompressing after school each day and just talking with me
i thank elevated below sunshine for the reminder to take care of ourselves because how can we be good crew leaders for our kids if we are in the hospital (to paraphrase and use some hyperbole)
and i thank my lower back for not giving out on me yet!
good nite folks!

auto-ranking.

Team,

I'm a bit resistant to these sorts of auto-ratings/rankings. I'm meditating on why... maybe it's because it's more of a right-brained activity; there is no rubric and the hypothesis is not falsifiable. Maybe it's because I'm scared of what I might find out about myself.
Who knows. Anyway, here's how I feel:

So far so good.

Commitment: A+ (That's the only grade worth giving, in my opinion.) I'm going to stay grinding till the cows come home and the saints come marching in. This is far and away the most human I've ever felt while making money, and you already know E love the Kids.

Competence: ?
If competence in education really is all about building relationships and asking good questions - call me an ace in the sleeve.

However, if competency is about having mastered procedure - both that of the classroom and that of the larger educational endeavor that is the BX Guild - then I am a much less so.

I've honestly grappled with the prompt; hope it helps you see me better.



Ernest Before Self

Competencies & Commitment

Given the limited options...I guess I have to say I am HIGH commitment & LOW competency....although I am not totally sure I would say I am Low Competency - just low on Experience in this specific career.......

However - this specific role requires multiple competencies.....and from that perspective it seems more daunting.......

The kids are psyched about internships and waiting for their email responses from BGLTIC.....so we will sort through that tomorrow.....also - my really challenging kid (he doesn't talk??!!) - and missed almost 1/2 of middle school - is going on a shadow day with John Henry (?) tomorrow to the Brooklyn Woodworkers - so I am SOOOO relieved and hope a) he shows up on time; b) wants to do it and c) is offered an internship. THANK YOU NOEL!!!!!!

A difficult event happened today as well - one of my students who has a TOUGH life and was so excited about one thing and one thing alone - had her hopes DASHED by an adult and I am so WORRIED about her......

Thats my stuff for now.....