who am I? .... a workaholic

so wanna hear a funny?
i decided to do my own who am I to model for my kids the inquiry to essay process.... more work kinda but this time i tried to make it helpful to me. my essential question is :why am i a workaholic? ill keep yall posted as i dig thru this burning question. its just about 5 30 so im gonna finally leave the guild when i finish this post. but i feel like the work im puttin in is really paying off. when my day is planned out the kids know what is expected of them and they at least know that there is always something for them to be doing. im keeping their math workfolios based on raul's third ring as a go-to any time i hear " i did that miss. my work is all done".... im like.... sike there is always more to do.... maybe thats why im a workaholic... there is always more to do.... im learning to draw the line slowly but surely and stop trying to re invent the wheel on certain things. using my resources and other crew leaders/staff have been helping out, especially with Ana, my ESL baby. im just worried about losing her because im not preparing enough relevant work. but im also worried about our relationship. im hoping i can spend some more time with her and reach out to juan to set up a home visit asap with her and her parents. im gonna actually do that now before i forget. then ill go home. for real :D
-miss bc
ska
wuRk-A-hoLic (<------ evidence these kids are rubbbing offf on me)

week 6

week 6: pick up sticks,
pencils, pens, and wads of paper.

white bread and cigarettes,
how do u spell "staples"?

dreams of caracas, jo'burg, naples.

"teach" they call me at the kitty corner chess board,
oh lord, 850BN these wall street piglets hoard.

ladedadedadeda,
Guru's wadeda,*

practice?
crack this! back handed slap fist? or old chap/young buck gone but back quick.
spits fire and acid, the battery type, not lactic.


on top of the game, my kiddies love me.
beautiful people, "hands off, don't hug me,"
says a first year crew leader,
to baby boys
tempted with tales of toasters and heaters.

chitty chitty bang bang,
same old dang thang. "Really?!?!? I'm fed up!"
forget ur outfit, i mean life when i say, "nice get up"

cuz in the end, thats the mission,
free our minds, switch positions,
let the mild and the meek begin charging tuition.

week 6: pick up sticks,
pencils, pens, and wads of paper.

white bread and cigarettes,
how do u spell "staples"?

dreams of caracas, jo'burg, naples.


*Al Sylvia's tool

Elevated train-Bound Subway

looking forward to week 6

9 dayz to the red zone.
most days im exhausted by the time i get home.
tryna push my kids to think outside the box
help them find the keys to the locks
that are on their heart and minds
leave the past behind
and move forward.

relationships, relevance, rigor yea you know em
start with care and love you gotta show em
then bring the work that relates to their passions
hook em with a mentor in the business of fashion
thats the hard part right now in this mad dash
connecting the work to the way to get that cash
elbow grease and diggin real deep
staying focused to take the big leap
ill step my game up to show the youth
get organized, set goals and only speak truth
to yourself and others on the daily its tough
but its the only way to make it thru the rough and gruff
of the cards we have been dealt in this life
fa sho in the bronx they know about strife
we working toward peace in the world and in our mind
all we can do is take it one day at a time.
-a$
ska
miss bc

wk 5

to respond to the previous blogger's blog, I dont think the word project denotes anything short term or with a given end; on the contrary I also consider my life a project. to paraphrase Focault, if a house or a vase can be an object of artistic creation and interpretation, why can't our lives be the same. maybe i should have called this "project" a poem or an installation instead. there is something really very profoundly humanizing in this, and if we are human only in relation to what we create then i feel justified in calling this an artistic project.

i think it has begun to drizzle. i wouldn't call it a storm yet. as the youths have gotten more comfortable with each other they have gotten more comfortable doing their own things, and i would say that my inexperience in this has caused too much idle time during which the kiddies assert themselves confrontationally.

e b s

this so called project...

so ive been having a few conversations with colleagues and friends about this so called "project" of the bronx guild. This word "project" keeps coming up to describe the work endeavor we are undertaking each day but i dont know if this is appropriate. I feel like a project is something that has a specific goal in mind at the end. something with a tangible and quantifiable end. but the goal of this endeavor is hazy in my mind. what do i want to get out of this experience? what do i want my kids to get out of this experience? this is not some closed ended "project" but an onging struggle. these questions are important and immenent in my mind because they seem to be at the core of what is driving my practice. like for real. like how much time will i devote to mini-lessons and how much will i devote to discussion circles. ive been thinking about how knowledge is transfered and created and what is considered legitamate. not just in terms of what the regents will measure but even in how the students and myself feel like they are "learning something". Noel and many other crew leaders have told me that for a while kids my say they arent learning anything and so ive been doing the mini lesson thing so that they can feel a little bit "satisfied" but i wonder how much this is really doing them a service. sometimes i feel conflicted about what i want them to know, what the state wants them to know and what they want themselves to know. i think we all start with this talk about options and choices at the end of four years of high school. so we get the regents prep and sats in there a little bit so they can have those choices for college and what not. then i think about them making their own options and choices in a system that tells them most of the time to just choose from the current options and that is enought. in order for any person to make new options for themselves i think requires imagination and confidence. so how what kinda prep books or materials are made for that? humm? lol so im tryin to give them love and listen and have them learn to listen and give love back as the basis for the confidence. but how do you encourage kids to open their imagination and dream new dreams. ive started with trying to expose them to new things (like art and that stuff) and have conversations about mental slavery. they dig it. but weve been puttering along on that road for a bit because the direction is lacking. we have to make up the direction and create the road by walking it together. or something like that. i heard that somewhere and it sounded real dope. that leads us to the third tension in this "project". what the kids want to know. my instinct says they are too young and inexperienced to seriously contriubute to their own curriculum and really have a sense of what they want to learn more about. and as i write this down i think "ye of little faith"....or "me of little faith". i need to put more trust in my kids that they can be self directed and that their projects will dig deep and push them to new heights. they know their struggle. i just feel like im trying to help them find the words to name it and the courgae to fight it.
.....
i feel like i have swam a little to far out to sea just now in these thought and need to come back (a common expression of mine you will all here me say at some point)..... i think i need to take a breather/pause and let these ideas rest till i can speak on them more coherently in a later blog.
peace,
a$