....big sigh.....deep breath....

so today i left school at 830PM. i decided it would be better to stay, blast Pandora and get my lesson plans together for tomorrow, than to go home, crash, wake up at 4:15 AM and rush to make sense of Friday's schedule before Eric Nunez pokes his head in my door at 8:05 AM. i feel like i made some decent progress but i was exhausetd by the time i made it to the bus stop and realized... thats it... im high committment and low competence
for real
i thought about how much i will give to these kids and have been giving since before day one. i love em so much already ( thought i want to smack a few of them across the lip somtimes - jk ).
my kids were my life today.
hopefully ill get some balance soon.
thats where the competence comes in.
yeah... i know i dont have all the training and experience necessary to leave by 4 with no worries
i kno i dont have the care free attitude to just flow with it either
i just know how to ask questions
hopefully i have been asking good ones, ones that will help me be a better crew leader/member
al- i think i need direction and support as per my box thingy
so far you have been great support in being open and available for all my questions which has made gray moments crystal clear.
i think i need a little but more direction because sometimes i feel i have been getting them a bit mixed up or just kinda late in the game. like when your on the highway and see the sign you have been looking for but then miss the exit.
yeah...
these last two weeks have been a whirl wind and i feel like im doing and okay to good job with my crew but its taking sooo much energy. what direction can we look forward to to try to make plannning a bit less dauting and exhausting when everything has to be so individualize not just by student but by crew (guess that seems a bit default right?). big sigh.... deep breath... and i dont think i am a perfectionist or a worry wart.... i just like to do things right.....and do them well.... with my best efforts...
but before i sign of and try my best effort in getting a good night sleep....
i know this is not ABC news time but...
i thank al for helping me and my crew out with the essential questions thing
i thank liza for holding on to my baby girl Shannara who came in late today
i thank sarah and shanita and my wife lydz for decompressing after school each day and just talking with me
i thank elevated below sunshine for the reminder to take care of ourselves because how can we be good crew leaders for our kids if we are in the hospital (to paraphrase and use some hyperbole)
and i thank my lower back for not giving out on me yet!
good nite folks!